fishing horse

she comes to me
says "mommy, i've decided."
"volleyball will be my sport."
"fishing will be my hobby."
she makes the fish she's
going to catch
big
wide arms
to indicate the length
says, "it will save daddy all
that money he spends at the
asian supermarket."
goes
googles the rod and reel
the fishing license
the boat rental
the perfect place
next to the perfect
fishing
hole
to stay at
worms
presents me with the bill
sums and totals up
all we are going to save
daddy
in pursuit
of this
big
fish
hobby

trojan horse
of wonder

daughter
spinning
sunlight
off water
glazing
yes
in her
daughter love

this
is
joy

the first full moon of a new year

shards of it
lay easily
in patches of clear light
like a sheet of glass
that one might not know was there
except for the glint of it
the white patch of it
laying easily
like it belongs
bathing the deck
i once took a full moon bath
at a girl scout camp
on a night much like this one
glowing
in the full moon white light
sunbathing
under the moon
feeling it paint me
like the shards
like the sheets of glass
with all the magic of night

we stayed up
she reading about vampires
and me
winstaring
until 4am
when i thought i ought to be a better mother
and sent her to bed
i couldn't stand the loneliness of without her
and followed her, cuddled her
just like she was still a little girl
until i could hear her snoring
and then i extricated my way from under
her covers
and sat staring
at the moon
through the double paned slider
watching the moon
and the reflection of the moon
and the shadows of the growing things
dancing on the edges
of the silver coin
the clear white light
of this first full moonlight
of this opening year

i stared at the moon
just for a moment
that will last forever
as it is written here

spinning

and spinning and running and spinning and running and spinning
and caffienating
and spinning
and sugaring up
and spinning
and spinning
and spinning
and spinning
and spinning
and running
and running
and spinning
and it is not at all like my little girl does it
arms open to the vaulted ceiling of joy
wide smile on her happy face
decorated with dappled sunlight
in the slow turn of pure joy
young and free and loved
and knowing it
with all the joy pefection showers on you
this
her way
her beautiful young girl way
is the only way
to really spin
skirt dancing with you
in the dream
gathering its pleats
in animation
rendered perfect
for the long remembering
in days
months
years
decades
that follow
oh,
to slow down
to stop my kind
and take up hers

thank you, dear daughter
for the look of you
spinning in raptured sunshine
showing me how to try
again