in recognition of a life

i have
colors
threads
in the tapestry
that weave themselves
i sit
beside this one
made of
bone and sinew
synthetic hair
added to his
curls
in longness
not dreaded
yet
but
heading
there
the stories
of his hair
a jack
of spades
underneath his chair
he is
my prince
a boy
belonging
only
to this
moment
of grass weave
and chair
we share
the table
of this
dream
as if
there were no more
spinning
but
in, around and through
there are
there are

i manage
a hundred storylines
here at this table
i continue
continuing
on and on
this moment
tells itself
he
and me
with him
in the other room
and she
asleep
and the other
working
at the
store
of dollars
for dollars
too few
to
move

a single ant walks its path found in the wood grain
of fallen remnants
dead brothers
hover in spotted bits
of not yet buried
hair
hers
comingle
with the
not yet
swept away

a picture of greece

he showed me a picture
of someplace i've never been
someplace i've been 2000 times
every moment of the ceremony
awakens
the stones of it
the song of it
reclaims the bones of me
shoots marrow from all the way
back then
to now
bridges
the universe of time
between the mysteries of now
and the mysteries of then
reassembling themselves
in sacred circles
of reverberating claiming
the memory sewn into this
moment
physical presence
sacred landscape
holy being
wholly holy
reclaiming
everything
that was ever
part of what i am
a part of
one drop
in the miracle of
this
LIFE

take care. i love you.

take care,
i love you
and the phone
clicks shut
here in
this
evidence
of now
flashing
bulb
bulbless
tulip
springing
forth
the winter
is over
we are in the
deep heart
of pollinated
spring
a ring
dadadadadadada
jen and the baby
are here.
aha.
now i know a name.
i'll call you when i get home.
okay
bye
a click of the closed
phone
my dad calls me
every day
she tells jen
the skinny friend
her own pregnancy
protruding
life has its
way with
all of us
a ring
dadadadadadada
some words of
love and explanation
the click
of a closed
connection
cut off?
released.
again. to
LIFE in the present moment.

i want and then...

i want
and then
stop wanting
have
and then
stop having
speak
and then
stop speaking
give
and then
stop giving

in the presence
of witness
i be here

seen or heard
felt or imagined

i be here now
being


s t i l l

dearest yes maker

dearest yes maker
what holds me here?
in silent fear of fearful years
passing ever into gone?
i wander lost and on and on
forever circling round the thing
what holds me in this spiral ring?
in and out the dance and shout
of yes and no not now
but what is it that keeps me
keeping boxes stacked of weepings
weeping let it go to flow
dear river
heal me won't you let me know?
help me let it go?
beyond beyond in dervish
whirling
stop this digging up and
squirreling
letting ride the sweetest bet
take me home--yet not quite yet

i ask to see the daughter grown
the son of heart to come back home
the son of body dunking dreams
the husband featured in my seams
of all sewn up, fastened securely
here we be so of this worldly

wander just
the apple blossoms
leave the fruit
to drop
i come in season
to this yearning
hopeful here this
page now twirling
oft the shadow
here this night
a glimmer, flicker
final light this tide
does sweep out undertow
this weather sure to overblow
i come into this windy place

and ask my light go out
to face the
curtains call
courageous
bowing one
not stumbling
but allowing

here the winters wisdom turns
thee old now
one and all
go out now--
into fall.