i make intentions

i articulate them
speak them out loud
say them to my collaborator
my facebook friends
i speak with my soon to be ex
he is gathering the paperwork
we are moving toward dissolution
i look out the window
wanting to dissolve
there is blue sky
sun setting
i am going
somewhere
toward black eyed peas
and greens
a new year's tradition
in the south
for luck and money
i will go
arrive in white
begin, again
at my beginnings
at the table
of another devil
i am
lost
for all my
searching
for gods
i denounce, renounce,
can no longer pronounce
any of their names
but one...
love still haunts
in all the lonely places

i realize
i have no
fucking idea
what it is...

the second day

the second day
of the new year
opens
i can let something go
release
shift
move
clean out the gunk at the bottom of the vegetable drawer
stop
stopping myself
with inertia
i begin
again at the beginning
stop fearing
what can be feared
begin again
open the floodgates
call the hobby lobby shoppers
hear them in their togetherness
a duo
should be, could be, was a trio
for that moment
i return
to the place
i have and hold
as oldest
in my family of origin
there is us and only us
to hold on to
in the dissolution
of things dissolving

today we stop hurting each other
enter back in
complete

new year poetry

she's sleeping
this new year
still sleeping
somewhere still sleeping
in the quiet sounds
of something shifting
that needs dreams
to reach for
to reach through
to cross
i meet them
in their meeting place
in the middle of a bridge
where the cable hangs down
low
and the riding
of that dragon
can bestow
it's bee hive huddle
activity
keeps tempting
action
make
do
be
become
resolved
resolute
i am not
i am still in the jelly
of the unmistakable
and to get out
of this
i must
choose
between
mistakes
mine?
and mine.

i choose.